{TESTIMONY}

A lot has happened since the last time I posted, and I'd have to say it has been for the better.
I've graduated high school, I have two jobs, and I am doing my best to prepare for a mission.

The feelings I have had for the past couple months are indescribable.  The only way I can put it is that I am in no way really prepared to serve a mission, but it's the greatest thing I desire in my life at the moment.
I've never felt this much passion for anything in my life. It's a different feeling for when you are excited to go to Disneyland or you're waiting for a school break to come.
Going on a mission is the biggest desire I currently have, and not being able to go right now is literally killing me.

I feel that there is a HUGE dramatic change in my life because of all the positive energy I am getting from being a Latter-Day Saint. Two of my best friends have received their mission call, Facebook is either swamped with other girls my age getting their call or mission pictures from those already out, and we just had general conference which has resulted in a huge expansion of  "I'm a Mormon" ads and the "Meet the Mormons" movie has just come out. The earth is being flooded with the good gospel and with exciting news.

And the hardest part is that I'm not part of what I want to be a part of, if that makes sense. I WANT TO BE OUT. If you could see these tears that have splattered all over my keyboard just now, you'd see how bad I want to serve a mission. I want to get my call. I want to go to the temple. I want to be able to pin my tag to my shirt and sling my handbag across me that is full of papers, notes, pamphlets and Books of Mormons. I want to wake up with my companion and study. I want to meet new people. I KNOW it's not going to be easy because Satan doesn't want me to go, but the Lord does and I have every desire of serving a mission.

I just want to go.
I've wanted to go for 16 years.
I want to be Sister Higgins.
I'm doing what I can to continue to remain worthy, and I've prayed and prayed and prayed to Heavenly Father about it and and I can tell you that I NEED to go.
There are people out there I NEED to meet.
I cannot convert anyone. I don't plan on converting everyone or anyone because I can't.
But I CAN do what I CAN to help others feel the Spirit, because only the Spirit has the power of conversion to help others feel of the truth of this gospel as I have in my life.

I'm 18 years old, almost 19.
I'm working two jobs solely for my mission.
I procrastinate, I'm lazy, and I'm your typical teen in every way, except for the fact that I know The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is true. Every fiber in my body is tingling this very moment with MY sure testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel. I WANT TO SERVE A MISSION. I WANT TO SERVE A MISSION. I NEED TO SERVE A MISSION.

Again, this church is true. I guarantee it. I promise it. I'd lay my life down this very moment for it. I am a Mormon, a daughter of god, and a future missionary, and I say these things in His name, amen.