{drowning}

I haven't had a stress free week in 4 weeks.

Now, when I talk about stress, I mean the life crisis ones.
Not like, 'do I have homework or not tomorrow' kind of stress.
Its like the 'should I do the MA program? What will I do when I have to turn in my mission papers? How am I going to get a job this summer? Can I possibly do better this weekend on the ACT? How am I going to afford all this? Will this fit into my schedule for the long run? How can I get this critical appointment in? Does anyone have a gun they want to shoot me with' stress.
Yup. Those are just a few.
The sad part is, it's been affecting my sleep lately.
Usually I have a nice brain that stuffs it all away until morning.
But for the past while, it hasn't been. These thoughts swim in my head, and I have panic attacks.
Plus an occasional meltdown.
And they still won't go away.
I pray for peace and comfort, and it sort of helps, but it's still there like a tattoo imprinted in the center of my brain.
Even spring break couldn't keep away the anxiety attacks.

"In the course of a lifetime, what does it matter?"
It matters a lot.