I don't want it to effect me. I don't want to seem angry or mean. But let me tell you, I feel as though I've been tricked. Actually, this is the second time I've been tricked. And I hate it. Most of the time I wish he would just go away, or that I could wipe my memory clean of him. I hate going throughout my day happy, and then a thought of him pops in my head. It makes my heart squeeze tight and hurt. It makes me cringe. Because I know I've been fooled once again. When he said hi to me in the halls, my mind said, " maybe." But, after looking at things, there has been someone else. Not me. And that was the real crusher, because she looks like a nice girl who is beautiful. I wish I could be like, "oh wow! She looks like a playa!" or "no, not that girl." I hate her, but there's nothing wrong. So I just look as my heart tenses, and drops, and it feels like it will be that way for a while.
But I still have the greatest friends. And they make me smile. And that's what I like, so it will just have to do for a while.
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