Strength in many ways

I'm back in school.....

and i would VERY much love to return back to Christmas Break!

does everyone agree?

So here's the question of the day.

Why do people have to be mean sometimes? 

No, it is not nice.

You know what is worse than just being mean?

Having someone put you down by their mean words.

Yes, I have been a victim to the action of "bullying". 

No, it wasn't severe, nor was it traumatizing

But it did hurt.

What used to be funny turned vicious and hurtful. 

My self esteem plummeted.

And just before it hit the rocks at the bottom.

I fastened myself a harness and was safe.

And strong.

Would you like to hear this story?

*clear throat*

In school- lets be frank here-

i suck in math.

really badly.

Its not like i try to, but sometimes it just hard for my silly head to comprehend all those weird numbers.

anyway, the last test i took, i received a pretty bad grade on it.
A girl sitting next to me wanted to know what I had received.
I was very embarrassed and didn't want to show her because I didn't want her to laugh.
She promised she wouldn't.
So I told her.
And she laughed.
:(
I wanted to cry.
Everyday then, she would ask me with a smirk on her lips and say, "so hows that F grade going?"
then she'd laugh.
My cheeks would turn a light pink, and I'd half-heartily laugh back.
But I wasn't amused.
Every time I would see her, she'd make fun, and want me to laugh back.
I told her that I do not have an F in the class, and that I was doing well in it,
but it seemed to fly right over her head,
and she wouldn't listen.
I got frustrated, but I still wanted to be nice.
I've never gotten mad at someone else for a long time, and I didn't want to start then.
Today, however, I had had enough.
As I sat down at my desk in math, I watched as she strode in.
I smiled and we chatted for a while, and I even got her to laugh.
"Hows your F grade going?"
It just popped out suddenly, and she giggled after she said it.

I turned and looked her fully in the face and said, "Why do you keep bringing this up?"
She shrugged as she pulled out her Algebra 2 book from her backpack and replied in a nonchalant way, "Because it makes me feel good about my self."
I sat there, stunned as I looked at her.
I felt hurt.
She was putting me down because it made her feel good that someone has a worse grade than her.
"So, your saying that putting me down makes you feel better?" I ask.
"Hmm....yeah." she replies like its the most obvious answer.
I turned away.
I didn't want to look at her.
Heck I didn't even want to be near her!
I just stared ahead and tried to concentrate on the lesson,
but images of me pushing her into a hole were too distracting.
After about 15 minutes, she looks at me and asks, "Hey, Kayla, are you mad at me?"
Yes, I was very mad and hurt!
But I didn't know what her reaction would be if I told her the truth.
I didn't care. I felt like I needed to tell her my feelings.
"Um," I started, clearing my throat, " yeah, a little bit. I don't really like how you keep bringing up the topic about my grade, and I would really appreciate it if you would stop, please."
I waited for her answer.
"Oh, okay. I'm sorry."
I exhaled and felt so relived.
"You know, it's fine. Thank you for your apology." I said it with a smile because I meant it, and she smiled back at me like she really was sorry.

Although I probably will never tell her my scores on anything again
(my trust in her was lost)
I still think we can be friends because I want to be, and I really believe that she was sorry.
To stand up for someone else takes great strength and courage
To stand up for yourself takes immense strength and courage
But to forgive requires not only strength and courage, but love needs to be the dominant part.

Don't EVER be mean to someone else. Even if they were mean to you in the first place, just walk away. Don't fight unless needed. Turn the other cheek. Love your enemies. Do good to them, and you will get good in return. It might not me immediate, but it will happen.

Some people hated Christ,
They wanted him dead,
They spit on him,
They mocked him,
They put a crown of thorns on him.

BUT HE STILL LOVED THEM ENOUGH TO DIE FOR THEM
but there was also forgiveness when he was hung on the cross.

I hope to be more like Christ this new year.

So again, I ask you
Please love one another.
Because don't forget.
I love you ♥

Love,
Kayla